You know that feeling when you first refer to your new spouse as your “husband” to a stranger? You feel like you’re trying to sound cool and you don’t recognize the fancy words coming out of your mouth. You’re thinking somebody is going to call your bluff because having a husband is so sophisticated and mature… and that’s surely not the vibe you give off. This precisely mirrors the feeling I have when I call the doctor to set up an appointment for “my son”, or when I bring up “my son” in a random conversation with a stranger. But I don’t just “have a son”, I am somebody’s one and only mother. Perhaps the most pivotal role in one’s young life. What an honor, blessing, and an enormous responsibility… one that has come with many lessons (specifically, 10 lessons learned as in this first year as mom).
The realization of the weight of my new role has flooded my perspective in a way that I couldn’t have imagined prior to meeting my baby boy. I just don’t look at myself the same, I don’t make decisions the same, I don’t consume media the same. All for the better, but there have been some irreversible changes within me that drastically deviate from the girl I was over a year ago. Whether you are on your way to taking on this heavy and beautiful role or you currently find yourself with a baby in your arms and doing a double take at the new woman in the mirror, I’ve compiled a list of 10 lessons learned in my first year as mom. These are just a few of the lessons that have shaped me into the new woman I am today – and I like her way better!
10 Lessons I’ve learned in my first year as Mom
1. Every Day Is a Big Deal
One day for your baby is a much larger percentage of their life than it is yours. So while you are thinking “today is exhausting… get me to bedtime…”, your new little person is experiencing a very new, exciting, and large percentage of their short lives. They won’t remember them, but they are using them as the framework for all feeling and understanding! So, as your energy permits, load ’em up with the good stuff!
2. Little Pleasures Build Happy Days
Going on walks, sitting on the nursery floor with Matt while Brooks plays, laying in the grass… things that became muted over the years are now re-ignited with appreciation and beauty. What’s more, “tasks” I once took for granted – grocery trips, showers, cooking dinner, are now an enjoyable retreat. Being mindful of all these “little pleasures” that make up your day makes life so bright and joyful!
3. Less is More
Brooks taught me this. He is much more entertained by a single, random toy (or piece of recycling) than he is when I plop him down in the middle of a toy-filled circle of fun. Too much stuff can clutter your view and mind. Live with less and the beauty of each thing is so much more apparent!
4. Risks Aren’t Worth It
I’m a risk taker by nature. Something that always drove my parents crazy… I was never one to turn down a dare. I considered myself highly capable, always optimistically believing I could make that jump, run before that car comes, dodge that bullet. Not anymore. If I have Brooks all loaded up in the car and realize I forgot to lock the door, I take him out and take him with me… because now my mind thinks in terms of “I wouldn’t forgive myself if….”. Not that you should be paranoid, but all those little risks you’d take without thinking twice pre-baby are now slapping you in the face! You notice the danger in all situations and you are always on defense. And with myself too… the thought of Brooks growing up without me dictates the decisions I make when I’m not with him. Good thing this came naturally when I became a mom, I sure didn’t expect it to!
5. Everything Can Be Funny
Babies are a mirror of innate human spirit. We find joy in expression, in movement, in noises and nature. Our standards of what’s “funny” heighten with our maturity, but it is refreshing to laugh at someone blowing on a tomato (Brooks can’t get enough of this). A reminder of the sweet state of innocence we’ve lost with age, laughter at the little things yields a genuine happiness and a trip back to those simpler times.
6. My Body was Made to Serve
Before pregnancy, my body was something I dressed, worked on, flaunted. I greatly valued it’s form. Since then, it’s function has become the most valuable aspect. A great portion of my confidence has shifted from being dependent on the form of my body to being dependent on it’s function. I find myself less concerned with the muscle tone of my arms and more concerned with their ability to hold brooks while I carry the groceries inside. Functional fitness at it’s finest! If my body can do what it needs to do to support my family, I am proud of it! A time will come when I can again devote sufficient time and energy to it’s form, but now is not that time for me. (One big function I’m so thankful my body could sustain for as long as it did was breastfeeding… check out our breastfeeding journey FAQ’s here and how we were able to make it work for us!)
7. Mental and Emotional Health is a Priority
Motherhood does a number on your emotions. If you’re fortunate enough to have an involved and affectionate spouse, talk their ear off. Call your friends, your mom, your siblings. Isolation is imminent otherwise and can make these emotional dips much greater. Your feelings – no matter how “scary” or “bad” you consider them, are completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of, so don’t be afraid to talk about them! And if you feel like your needs aren’t being met, make a list of what you need to be happy and go over it with a loved one, coming up with ways to achieve each. A new mom needs someone in her corner – find your someone and use them!
8. Smiling is Contagious
I’ve smiled more this year because I’ve realized that when I smile at Brooks he smiles back. Turns out, the same is true with adults. Somewhere along the way I’ve stopped smiling at strangers in the grocery store… this year I’ve changed that and the extra positive interactions add small deposits to my filling bucket! When there’s more in there, there’s more to give!
9. Routines are Meant to be Broken
Babies and adults alike thrive on routines, but the highlights of life often happen outside of them. So when your parents are in town to visit or you are enjoying a sunset on the beach with the family, forget the bedtime and live those moments to their fullest! (That being said, we do love the routine we’ve established with Brooks! Check out our routine and how we were able to sleep train him here!)
10. Technology is a Thief
…of SO MUCH. You lose that third dimension when you look through a lens. What are you really going to do with hours upon hours of photos and videos of your baby? Twenty years from now you’ll be happy to have a handful, but it is impossible to re-live all of those sweet moments later in life. You will end up sifting through all those captured moments eventually, and when you’ve deleted moments you’ve captured, your memory of it likely won’t be as clear as it was if you just allowed yourself to live it. Finally, I’ve noticed that my baby smiles at me different than when he’s smiling at my phone… the phone has ruined or cut short many of our sweetest moments. So I’ve decided to put my phone away for the majority of the time he is awake because I’d prefer to enjoy most of these with my naked eyes anyway.
This year has been quite the learning experience, and I imagine year 2 will bring even more lessons! If there’s one word I would use to describe this year, it would be gratitude. I’ve thanked God more times this year than ever before, I’ve seen Him at work more this year than in years past, I’ve leaned on Him more than I’ve ever needed to. I am so undeserving of this beautiful life and the gift of my perfect baby boy, but I’ll sure make the most of the sweet gift I’ve been given! Finally, I want to share a few photos from Brooks’s first birthday party (his “First Rodeo”), and the 1 year photos the talented Lexi Meadows Photography captured of our sweet boy for our family!
Brooks’s First Rodeo
Lexi Meadows Photography
These photos are a few select beauties from our “mommy and me” session with Katy-based Lexi Meadows Photography (@leximeadowsphotography). She was such a pleasure to work with – highly recommend her if you’re looking for family, newborn, maternity, or any special occasion photos for your loved ones!
With Love,
Kelsie
